Николай Владимирович Лакутин - Operational bachelorette party. Comedy. А play for 5 people

Xana (ambiguous).

Damira (enthusiastically, Xane). Yes! And he, by the way, actively showed me signs of attention!

Bela (cautiously, looking at the girls with uncertainty). And…, I'm sorry…, actively, how is it?

Xana (pityingly, Bele). Squirrel …, you're still very, very green …

Bela guiltily looks away.

Damira (in her own way, Bela). Come on, it's okay. What's the big deal? If you don't know, we'll teach you. Well, how does a man show signs of attention? He often writes, tries to joke. He's interested in your affairs. He offers to give you a ride if it turns out in the conversation that you are going somewhere. He gives flowers, calls to the cinema. He offers to sit in a cafe.

Xana (interrupts, affirmatively, knowledgeably, Bele). But the most important thing is the look!

Damira (to Xane, enthusiastically). Here! That's the whole problem and there is!

Xana (to Damire, with interest). What? Not lit?

Damira (to Xane, enthusiastically). You know, for some reason, not really. The guys took care of me, after all. Well, while I'm with Nikita. (To the girls.) No, don't think about it, I didn't cheat on him.

Xana frowns, looks doubtfully at Damira.

Damira (to Xane, in response to a biased look). Well, almost!

Bela (disapprovingly). Heh…

Xana nods approvingly to Damira.

Xana (Bele, with Damira's support). A little bit — does not count! And in general, by the way, for the future. Without this little bit, no normal relationship can exist at all. Who is this girl who doesn't twirl her tail? Why the hell was this tail then given to us by nature?

Bela (with disapproving surprise). Don't understand?

Xana (calmly, calmly). Squirrel, you understand! We have to inspire men. Encourage them to do great things. I hope you agree with this?

Bela (cautiously). Well… probably.

Xana (calmly, calmly). Not probably, but definitely! Any girl who knows her worth knows how to twist her tail. Moreover, professionally. This does not mean at all that you need to become windy. There, on occasion, it is, of course, not harmful to something somewhere. But in everyday life, it's nothing more than flirting!

Bela (not understanding). What for?

Xana (Bela, not so calm anymore). Yes, so as not to wither away with your faithful. Well, imagine that. As you can see, the relationship is perfect. You, him, the kids. Marriage for life, love to the grave, mutual understanding. So?

Bela (agreeing). So!

Damira (mocking Bela). Fool! (Coming to his senses, Bele.) Oh, I'm sorry, please. It escaped.

Bela looks at the girls with incomprehension.

Bela (with interest). I don't seem to understand anything. Are you trying to say that it doesn't happen that way?

Xana (Bele). Sometimes, a Squirrel. In fairy tales that were read to you as a child. And in real life, any prince eventually turns into an oppressive psychological, or even physical, ballast. Yes, besides, he also pulls you into this routine. So the prince and the princess in each family go down in history. And they are replaced by a boring husband, and a grumpy, eternally dissatisfied wife.

Damira (with support, Xane). Here!

Xana (Bele). And why is this happening?

Bela doesn't know, shakes her head in incomprehension.

Damira (to Bela). Yes, because all the moves, all the tackles and courtship are very quickly studied by each other. And no normal person will read the book again. It's not interesting anymore!

Xana (philosophically). Immediately — it will not be! But after a while, if the book is your favorite — then with pleasure! It can be re-read and re-read …

Damira (Bele). And even discover some new moments in it that I hadn't paid attention to before!

Xana (with experience, Bele). Yes! And that's great! But only if, between rereading the same book, you still read something else! Do you understand?

Bela (cautiously, trying to understand). Well… With books, perhaps, I agree. But it's different with people!

Damira (to Bela). Yes, exactly the same. It's just that you've already read books in your life, and you probably haven't known a long-term relationship yet.

Bela (reluctantly agreeing). Well. I didn't know. Yes, even short-term, I didn't know. What is there… Month.

Damira hugs Bela.

Damira (to Bela, sympathetically). Poor thing!

Xana (with experience, Bele). Therefore, reading something else is not a whim. This is a necessity. Otherwise, any "cuckoo will move out". Flipping through the same worn pages all my life. Okay — you! It is strange that this simple truth is not understood by a huge number of women! And then they go to family psychologists, trying to find out why they lost interest in a man, just like him, by the way.

Bela (shocked). Heck! What? Is everything really that complicated?

Xana (with experience, Bele). It's really that simple!

Damira (to Bela, in a friendly way, with warmth). Unless we complicate it ourselves!

Xana (with a sly smile, Bele). But the whole problem is that we sooooooooooo love to complicate!

Damira (nodding approvingly, supporting Xana, releasing Bela from her embrace). That's for sure!

A rude male voice of a respectable age, director Damira, is heard, at which all three girls turn around.

The director's voice (furious). Damira! What's that supposed to mean? Come quickly to my office!

The girls look at each other with a confused, drunken look.

The director's voice (furious). Quick, I said!

Damira and Xana exchange a sly wink.

Damira turns around at the director's voice.

Damira (easily and naturally). Fuck you!

Bela (unexpectedly for everyone, quickly taking the initiative, shouts emotionally towards the director's voice). Old goat!

Silence.

Damira and Xana look at Bela with a surprised, confused smile.

The angry stomp of the director is heard.

The girls jump out of their seats.

Xana (quickly, to the girls). Let's go! Valim-Valim-Valim-Valim!!!

The musical theme sounds.

Damira and Bela promptly, with laughter and enthusiasm, leave the cafe.

Xana manages to throw the bill on the table (calculation), after which she promptly leaves the cafe after Damira and Belaya.

ZTM.

Scene 2. Makhach

The musical theme continues to sound.

The light turns on smoothly.

Drunk, Lisa and Angelina come out in an embrace. They laugh, interrupt each other.

The music ends.

Lisa (through laughter). You're just a jerk, Gel, just a jerk!

Angelina (through laughter, interrupting). Come on… noooooo. I'm quiet!

Lisa (through laughter). Yes, it's still necessary to think of it, to throw it out!

Angelina (through laughter, interrupting). Yes… Come on, really… It somehow turned out that way. I'm even-even.

Lisa (calming down). So stop!

They stop.

Angelina tries to calm down, looks attentively at Lisa.

Angelina (calming down). I'm standing. So? Well?

Lisa (with interest, peering into Angelina's eyes). Well?

Angelina (with incomprehension). What?

Lisa (with interest, peering into Angelina's eyes). Well…, you called, said you had news! And the news was never reported!

Angelina (slapping her forehead). Damn right! I didn't say that. Yes, it's because while I was coming to you, I met these twins from Dolgoprudny, well… everything flew out of my head. No, Lee, just imagine. With two twins, just like that between cases at a time! But it didn't portend anything!