Николай Владимирович Лакутин - Play for 6 people. Once two new year's eve…

phone rings. He picks up the phone.

LEON (in a tube, well, mischievous): Yes, my love? I can, yeah. For you, I'm always free and always can.

Lenya smiles, mleet, talking on the phone. Semyon, looking at this shakes his head, understanding with whom his friend is talking there.

LEON (in a tube, well, mischievous): Did you miss me? Very much? You're my good girl. I missed you, too. Necessarily. I'll be at your place in about an hour, wait, get ready, when I get to you…

He hangs up, puts the phone away, still smiling, looks at his friend. Simon is skeptical look at Lenya.

SIMON (sarcastic tone): My joy, then? Well, well. Everything is clear, Susanna called. When Nora calls, the greeting is a little different. (Imitates friend, shouting) What are you calling for? I'm busy! Write a message, I've asked you a thousand times, don't call me while I'm working, you're distracting me. Inconvenient. Everything! That's all for now, I can't talk!

Lenya smiles maliciously.

SEMYON (complacently): Something like that.

LENYA (to a friend, with a sense of self-respect): Yes! Because I'm a man and I'm the boss of the family. And here you are, fawning over your own. (Parades with a trembling voice) Alinochka? Honey, I can't right now. I can't, I'm sorry. Let's do it later. Later, please. I'll call you back. I'll call you back… yeah… I Still can't… Later…

Semyon looks at his friend in confusion.

LENYA (complacently): Well? Recognize it?

SEMYON (reasonably, calmly): Yes. I respect my wife. I love it and appreciate it. And besides, I feel a certain guilt towards her for my own, so to speak… physiological weaknesses.

LENYA (biased): Come on. What are the weaknesses… You are a man, it is normal that you have a mistress. Every normal man has a mistress, or even two. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Mistresses there is no only have flawed, those which nafig no one need, but have such, as a rule, not the, that mistresses, have them and wives not case. For the same reason. So let's not blame ourselves for what is natural and natural.

SEMYON (judiciously, thoughtfully): Understand. Lence. I keep thinking about it. I love my wife very much. Very. I will not give Alina to anyone and will do everything not to lose her. And Kristina is very nice. I feel good with her, so nice, calm, comfortable, but… But internally, because of this whole situation, I somehow feel like a bit of an asshole.

Lenya waves her hand, pours more soda, and drinks.

SEMYON (judiciously, thoughtfully): So you say – naturally, all that. Yes, I myself know that this is the nature of men, they can not do otherwise. Maybe they would, but they can't… I feel a certain responsibility, as if to all of them. You know? Both responsibility and guilt!

LENYA (draining a glass of soda and exhaling loudly): I'll tell you what, old man! Go now to your Kristina, but don't try to drive her there this Blizzard. Pull back hard and everything will fall into place. The brain will fall into place, and life will continue as usual. And next weekend, you and I will meet here again and talk about it.

Lenya throws on, partially zips up the jacket, goes to a friend and holds out his hand, saying goodbye.

LENYA (summing up the meeting): Well, Susanna's waiting for me. We have her there… The event is scheduled, so… Come on, see you again, my friend!

SEMYON (holds his friend's hand in the lock, does not let go of the handshake): Tell me, could you just drop everything like that?

LENYA (trying to free her hand): You mean leave your wife for your mistress? Of course, I can, but I don't need it. Then the mistress will become a wife, and I will look for a new mistress. This is all a completed stage. A waste of time, effort, and nerves!

SEMYON (holds his friend's hand in the lock, does not let go of the handshake): Well no… I don't mean that. I'm just asking the opposite. Could you give up all your adventures and start living exclusively with your wife?

Lenya freezes with a strange expression on his face, as if something has happened to him.

SEMYON (holding his friend's hand in the lock, not letting go of the handshake): Hey, Lazy? Why aren't you talking? Everything okay?

LENYA (recovering from shock): What kind of fool is that? Why saw the branch you're sitting on? Does you that… don't spread your bad thoughts to society! You should be ready for this… it would be safe to go to a psychiatrist with your ideas. Nifiga itself asked.

Lenya tries hard to free his hand, but Semyon holds it quite firmly.

SEMYON (holding his friend's hand in the lock, not letting go of the handshake): Just wait. Laziness really? Well, is it true that no one, no one at all, can be faithful to their wives? Are we such weaklings as all of them (indicating with a nod somewhere vaguely)? Let's start with the New year to live as expected? Honestly, decently. Only with their wives to live with and no one else!

LENYA (nervously): Listen… You got me in these diagrams do not enter and do not take it poorly. If you want to break up with kristinka, it's up to you. I do not experience any psychological problems on this basis. If I want to, I will remain faithful to my wife… Then… by the age of seventy-five. Until then, I don't want to. All while, I have no time, let go.

Semyon lets go of his friend's hand.

Lenya hastily zips up the jacket to the end, corrects everything. Helmet, glasses on his head, picks up his snowboard and hurries to the exit.

Semyon goes sadly to the bar and, pouring himself a soda, gives his weighty word to the back of his friend.

SEMYON (without looking at his friend, succinctly, reproachfully): Weakling!

Drinks his own soda.

Lenya, who has almost left the room, suddenly stops when he hears a friend's phrase.

ZTM.

SCENE 2 RECREATION AREA AT THE SKI CLUB

At a small table, dressed in their ski suits, but unbuttoned to the rastopashku sit two, Semyon and Lenya. Lenya writes something, and Semyon attentively follows the text.

Lenya exhales, puts down the pen, lifts the sheet, and reads aloud, loud and clear.

LENYA (reads like a report): We, Senya and Lenya, hereby certify the date of entry into force of the dispute, to the extent that each of us undertakes not to go "left" for one year. In good faith and loyalty and to be faithful to their wives.

We provide for each other's control over the implementation of the agreement in any possible performance without any claims!

Loud Patriotic serious music is playing, appealing to masculinity.

Friends with eyes full of honor and self-denial lean back in their chairs and look somewhere in the distance, as if saying goodbye to their homeland, as if for the sake of the people go on their last journey.

The music stops.

Semyon takes a piece of paper, a pen, and signs it.

SEMYON (signing): Date, signature. I ask you, my colleague, to perform the same procedure!

Semyon passes the piece of paper to a friend, and Lenya also puts the date and her signature.

LENYA (with approval, with a catch): there you go. We'll make a couple of copies, just in case. So that each of us has a copy and one or two more in stock. We'll see… who of us is worth what in deeds, and not in words!

SIMON (quietly): I would like to note that initially, my offer was not limited to one year. In General, I was going to give up all third-party relationships and the rest of my life faithfully…

LENYA (interrupts): Yes … Yes … Yes! I remember this, and once again I want to note that this proposal was very short-sighted. Each event must have a specific time frame, otherwise it is all so… frivolous. Besides, no one knows how long your marriage or mine will last. Imagine if one of us gets divorced in a month, and the other one lives with his wife until retirement, and even longer. It would be a shame. The word will turn --">